Member Stats
| Member Since: | Mar 1, 2010 |
| Games Played: | 1576 |
| Wins: | 448 |
| Losses: | 1075 |
| Drops: | 53 |
| Score: | 1938 |
| Tournament Score: | N/A |
| Rating (out of 100): | 1 |
| Avg. points/game: | 1.17 |
| Avg. points/win: | 6.86 |
| Avg. games/week: | 15.52 |
| Avg. turn speed: | 119.11 hrs |
| Active games: | 0 |
| Account type: | Free |
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| Personal Info | | Name: | Announcing an Exciting New Procedure! | | Birthday: | Jan 01, 19 | | City: | Eye Tatoos AND FINALLY, EYE PIERCINGS! (please specify, white, iris, or pupil) | | State/Prov.: | | | Country: | Cayman Islands |
| | About me: | I am a specialist in Lazerick surgery. Unlike regular 'doctors' who waste time and dilute their focus over a wide range of medical topics, I *focus* on just the I. My best friend, Dr. Jones, smiled when I related that during one of our two o'clock meetings. Some people tell me Dr. Jones does not really exist, but he says says he does and I see him a lot, at the store, at the ball games, even in my shower. He doesn't get wet because his clothes don't soak up water. I tell him he's silly to wear a tie in my shower, he just smiles, like he always does, he just smiles. He looks exactly like my seventh grade math teacher, down to the scar on his chin. I mentioned that to him one time, he just smiled. | | Interests: | My operating room is at slip #15 (look for the Cayman Islands flag). NEW RULES: NO LAZERICK IN CITY PARKS, NOR ON THE OPERATING BOAT DURING STORMS OR HIGH WINDS, I'M NOT GOING THROUGH THAT AGAIN. I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SCREAM. A BUNCH OF BIG BABIES.
If you mention this ad, I will give you a 5% discount on my first eye surgery. Cash on the barrell, non-refundable. Insurance not accepted. If you are an insurance inspector, I'm not the guy you're looking for, you can't prove anything, you guys are more trouble than you're worth, I've NEVER been able to collect a dime from you people. | | Best piece of advice: | Best advice? "You can't make an omlet without breaking some eggs."
"Grow a pair", & "Caveat Emptor."
"You're not stretching your skills as a gardener if you're not killing plants."
"Eyes: The Heir and the Spare."
NOTE: If you are a former patient, I am no longer in business and can not be reached for any reason. If you are a new patient, please call now.
URGENT NOTICE: For the next 8 hours, I have a super special BLOW OUT sale, but you must act fast! I am offering an eye-popping 95% discount to anyone who can pay cash right now, must be cash to get this special internet offer. Call as SOON as you get this message, I'm staring at my phone and can take you to your bank. We can have this wrapped up within 10 minutes, less if you can 'hold still'. CALL NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! What have you got to lose? You will never have to buy glasses again, not even sunglasses.
"Lazerick". That means "Lazer Eye Removal", right? |
Professional Info | | Job description: | 'Lazy Rick, The Eye Guy'. I also rent out seeing eye-dogs for the blinded. Demand is increasing, reserve your dog now.
Did you know that the mythical 'cyclops', could see the future? Always look on the bright side, keep this in mind, you never know when you might gain from knowing the wonderful story of the cyclops. My math teacher lost an eye when a student got angry at him over a grade. The students called him 'cyclops' after that. Eventually he went missing when he went on vacation to the Cayman Islands. At least, that's what Dr. Jones told me the next day. Somehow, Dr. Jones never gets wet. He just smiles when I complain about something, never does anything about it, just smiles, even if I should have gotten an 'A'. | | Company: | Now with 'GREEN POLICIES!' | | Company web site: | Recycle and reuse, "SAVE THE PLANET, DAMMIT" REUSE, NO MEDICAL WASTE! | | |
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